Advice needed please help?

Should i make a move?





I have a friend. She is a girl. We have known each other for a couple of months.


Anyway, thing is that, I really like this girl. I mean, in the beginning it was just


a friendship, you know. We went to concerts together, and we had a good time. But i got to know her really well, and we, sort of, connected. I really feel the deepest connection. Something that i haven't felt until now. Something that can not be described simply by words. We understand each other perfectly, we share the same tastes, we like the same things. Our friendship couldn't be better. Problem is that, i feel something much stronger than friendship, and i just can't keep it for myself anymore. I would hate myself if i destroyed something that beautiful as our friendship. I love spending time with her. I love hanging out with her. I love talking to her. I want for her to be in my skin, just for a moment, so that she could see what i feel. She is interesting, sensitive and wicked. She has this huge aggressive and strong energy that is just erupting from her. I like everything about her. So what do i want? Well you guess. I want to be more closer to her. I know already that i mean a lot to her because she told me that i am one of her best friends. And that i am the only one who understands her completely. We even share the same thoughts because we can understand each other perfectly just by one look into the eyes. Almost always we end up holding each other, holding hands and that kind of stuff. So, finally the two problems... First - she has a boyfriend...Their relationship is far from stable, because he does not care about her so much. In fact they haven't seen or talked to each other for


some period of time, and she thinks that the end to that relationship is near. Second - I am afraid. She really means a lot to me, and i am afraid of what i would do to myself if i lost her. I could tell her anytime what i actually feel, that is not a problem to me, it's just that i don't wont to do something to hurt her, or to ruin our friendship. So i came up to ask for the advice...





I hope i will get one...


Thanks anyway





Cash

Advice needed please help?
I know just how you feel. Girls are so tricky this way!





What you're experiencing is one of the most frustrating things about Male : Female relations...





If you are feeling brave, and you want to get the question out there, do it like this --





Make an excuse like a dream you had. Say, "I had the strangest dream the other day. Have you ever thought about us as a couple, instead of just friends? She might pause and give you a look. DON'T! Don't stop for the answer there. Continue! -- "It was a dream where you and I were together in our own place. We were so happy! Do you ever have dreams like that, where you see yourself living your life in some other way? What do you think about that?"





This gives her the opportunity to tackle as little or as much of the problem as she's comfortable with. It also offers a talking point instead of a question that can be answered with "no". She might say plainly, "Do you want to be more than friends?" Or she might talk innocently about the dream part and avoid the coupling, which is her 'out' and you can take the hint and not be weird about it. If it goes badly, you can even backpedal from this a little and blame it on the dream you had and just say that you wanted to talk about your dream and you didn't mean for her to take it the wrong way.





She loves the security and friendship she has with you, and comes back to it. She probably will for years if you stay friends. You're available for her when she needs you, you treat her kindly, and most of all -- you listen and she feels comfortable telling you her secrets.





What's not to love?





But the rub comes when you find out that you might not be Exciting to her. It's nothing personal. It might be that you just don't turn her on. If you push a little, you'll find that she'll let you have those times (head on leg, cuddling, etc) together, and maybe more -- maybe some light sexual encounters. But it's because you're sweet and safe. Not because you rock her world.





It's a tough place to be in. Years from now when you're both older and know more about what you want in life and from a relationship, it might be easier.





But today, I'll bet you that she keeps finding boyfriends who excite her. Maybe bad boys. Maybe guys who are taller, older, whatever. Have you met any of them? What's her type? I'm guessing you're nothing like it.





Again, don't take it personally. Enjoy the friendship you have, and take the opportunity to study the female way. You can learn a lot from female friends about how to communicate with them. She'll help you (unknowingly) find your best match, because when you meet girls, you won't come off like a jock idiot. You'll know what they like to talk about, how they feel, and what not to say.





My advice is not to push it and not to put your feelings on hold for her. Just see it for what it is today and be pleased. Otherwise you will become more resentful of her boyfriends, believing that she's making a bad choice (not choosing you insetead) and she'll sense it, and it will hurt your friendship.





One more thing - if and when you do meet someone else, play it down, or don't brag about it to her. You might find that it will make her jealous. Not because she wanted you to herself (because if she did, you'd already be in that position), but because it's hard to share someone you're that close to - even as a friend.

fuchsia