What do you think??

The wind whipped around me. The fall leaves turned into sharp cats claws, clawing at my skin. The sound deafened me as ran towards the storm cellar. It was so dark, I couldn’t even see the door handle. As I groped my way across the door I felt a sharp pain go through the back of my head. I reached my hand back and felt something sticky. Oh crap! I thought to my self………………. Finally! I had found the handle. I pulled with all my strength but it wouldn’t budge. It was getting darker and louder by the second.


“ I know I haven’t prayed in along time but please, God, please help me.” I prayed and cried at the same time.


I pulled and pulled. Finally it opened. I threw my body forward with all the strength I had. I just made it through the door, slammed it shut, and locked it. The last thing I remember is rushing up to meet the ground.





What do you think of the beginning??? Be honest.

What do you think??
I think it's really descriptive and well-written, however.....be careful of that last line----it sounds too close to a line in "The Outsiders". Don't want promising writers to get in trouble....Okay, that' sounds good too....nice and poetic. The last line instantly reminded me of "The Outsiders". I just don't want you slapped with a plagarisim lawsuit when you are just starting off your career....

broadleaf